The Headmaster
From Changeling Venue
Contents |
Appearance
Instantaneously shifting between archetypal school principals -- the sadistic, the kindly, the oblivious, etc. -- the genres and forms he has explored in order to understand the notion of "a safe, happy, and productive learning environment" are, of course, numerous.
In some manifestations, the Headmaster appears as a balding man in his late 50's who reeks of whiskey, wearing an expensive but tasteless suit. In others, he is an obese, villainous old woman wearing a tent-like pink dress. Frequently, he is an old, wizardly pedagogue in voluminous robes living in an ivory tower, a medieval castle-turned-school, or a fantastical university.
Since the 1980's, the Headmaster's preferred form has become more and more frequently that of famous fantasy-novel headmasters, namely Albus Dumbledore and Mustrum Ridcully, twisting the much-beloved fictional wizards created by JK Rowling and Terry Pratchett in their famous, immensely popular novels. Sadistic, manipulative, and paranoid in both forms, the Headmaster has terrorized his elite school of kidnapped children, faculty, and staff, who desperately try -- and always fail -- to satisfy the Headmaster's standards of perfection.
"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"
Personality
Fatherly, sadistic, violent, depraved, and on rare occasions kind in a horrible way, the Headmaster is as unstable as any Fae. His particular madness is expressed in his attempts to replicate and experiment with every human emotion through the monstrous guise of "the Headmaster." In his most recent incarnations as a twisted Albus Dumbledore and a monstrous Mustrum Ridcully, the Headmaster is manipulative, secretive, violent, perfectionistic, racist, and deeply paranoid, but occasionally treats certain students with a degree of extremely twisted kindness.
As Mustrum Ridcully, the Headmaster delights in hunting his students, faculty, and staff, pursuing them around the grounds, riding on massive monstrous chimerae that he has captured and broken. He also has a bizarre -- and often lethal -- love of practical jokes. Although stubborn and impatient, he loves spending time in the countryside, mainly using it as a place to kill things. He is also obsessed with personal hygiene, both his own and everyone else's.
In his form as Albus Dumbledore at Hogwarts, he selects a group of "lucky" three students -- two male, one female, always referred to (under penalty of death if you're lucky) as Harry, Ron, and Hermione -- at the beginning of each year with the Goblet of Fire, undoubtedly a bound Elemental changeling. For the entire school year, these students would occasionally be invited to "enjoy" such delights as lethal candy in his office, or a restful evening after OWL exams in the iron maiden in the dungeons. Any of these select students who managed to survive the school year would be honored in a spectacular, magical, public, and, yes, predictably gruesome -- oh, but so magical! -- manner.
Domain
As with many Fae, the Headmaster's domain changes to suit its master's form. It may take the guise of a run-down Victorian public school, surrounded by dead grass and withered trees. It may take the form of a bleak high school somewhere in suburban wasteland of Southern California.
Most recently, however, the domain of the Headmaster has taken either of two forms -- perhaps both simultaneously. One is the form of Unseen University and much of its surrounding city, Ankh-Morpork. The other is Hogwarts and its neighboring town of Hogsmeade. However, since these are the product of a diseased mind beyond comprehension, both these settings are just as magical as they were in their authors' imaginations, but much darker, much more dangerous, and, yes, rather twisted.
In the case of Hogwarts, for example:
The Sorting Hat occasionally eats a first year student's brain during the Sorting Ceremony.
The moving staircases are enchanted to drop incautious students to their deaths.
Games of Quidditch require 15 spiked or explosive bludgers.
The Whomping Willow is mobile.
Mr. Filch has the relationship with his cat, Mrs. Norris, that we all suspected.
The Bloody Baron earns his name on a daily basis.
Many despairing students use the Astronomy Tower to attempt suicide. However, Madam Pomfrey always seems to find a way to bring them back. Sort of.
The dungeons are darker. Rats and spiders as big as cars scamper in the pipes and lower corridors. And then there's the basilisk to (not) watch out for.
The lake is deeper. Infested with transfigured students who broke school rules, giant squids, murderous merfolk, and stealthy grindylows are just a few of the horrors lurking in the murky depths of the Black Lake.
The Forbidden Forest is pretty obviously not a happy, jolly place. It's like some sort of weird Hedge or something. *hint hint*
Durance
Most of the Headmaster's students and faculty retain full awareness of their previous lives while at the school. Additionally, those rare few who manage to matriculate or escape the school by other means never forget the "lessons" they learned there.
Seemings
The Headmaster's students, faculty, and staff are often Fairest, having been carefully selected and obsessively perfected by their Keeper. Many of the teachers, however, have animal qualities to their seeming -- several are Beasts, as fat as oxes. Others are Darkling Antiquarians, spending much of their time in dark rooms, studying in order to survive. At Unseen University, there is an Ogre or Beast Orangutan-Librarian.
At Hogwarts, there is of course always an Ogre named Hagrid living in a hut near the edge of the grounds, and the Dungeons, the Forbidden Forest and Black Lake are filled with monstrous Darklings, Ogres, and Beasts. However, in general, those who failed to become "perfect" Fairest are slaughtered violently and publicly. (On one memorable occasion, a group of Slytherin third year girls were skewered on the Clocktower's minute hand for running -- from a tentacled bear -- in the corridors.)
Common Tortures
Above all else, the Headmaster demands perfection and discipline. While truly exceptional conduct and achievement in all areas occasionally earns house points and advancement to the next year, everyone needs an occasional (and usually terminal) correction.
The Headmaster believes in corporal punishment. Whether the torture (or execution) is magical or mundane, it's always new and exciting: truly inspired torture devices or ingenious spells that flay students alive in new ways, creative mental torments, setting loose hybrid monsters...
Also, since house points are so rare and so essential to a student's survival, they are obsessively coveted. Students often kill rivals or weaker members of their House who have lost house points. Hufflepuffs are especially violent and feared, and they hunt in packs, as the current Moaning Myrtle knows well.
Changelings
Contact
To incorporate this Keeper into your background and to create a character tie to Doctor Houx, please email me at Fancy Dan.
